Last week at the close of the year (which, true to form for our age, felt like a year ago itself), I posted this prayer, really, to mark a moment in time and my own aspirations for the year ahead. I usually use the pronoun I rather than we because I can only claim to speak for myself, but a prayer is intended to ask a question, or make a request, and I’d be disingenuous if I said I want to feel this way alone, in my bubble, away from others who might be reaching for the same thing. I know that while physically distanced, I am not, in fact, in a bubble and that I need community for my own health (and survival, really).
I say all this knowing I can’t expect or demand my prayer to be answered (or fulfilled at all, actually) by Spirit- what I can do is look at my interior and exterior world each day and ask myself, does how I show up measure up to my aspirations and prayers? This for me is where humanity and spirituality find their most potent alchemy. It’s in human action, motivated by our highest ideals, aspirations, and ethics.
Here’s a summary. May…
we never again be led into the illusion of separation, and may we remain ever mindful of our interdependence
our awareness of both our shortcomings and our gifts set a sure foundation of humility and grace
our expression of … love be shown in acts of radical self-study, reconciliation and a renewed commitment to honor and serve you, through our service to all beings
we reveal ourselves courageously and respectfully to each other in ways that remind us we’re all on this journey together
we see clearly the truths to come before us
we abide with equanimity amidst times of both turmoil and harmony
we act with a depth of wisdom and compassion that comes with daily, lifelong practice
There’s more, but you get the gist.
So how are we doing, folks? We’re a week in to the new year so let’s tally the results.
We saw a continued, shaky rollout of Covid-19 vaccinations and a pharmacist arrested for sabotaging over 500 doses of the Moderna vaccine in Wisconsin based on conspiracy theories.
Georgians elected two new Senators (thank you Queen Stacy Abrams, for your fearless, fierce leadership in remaking the entire structure of voter registration in the state- you are a model for all of us to follow)- one, a Jewish man, and the youngest Senator since 1972, and the other, the first Black Georgian Senator in history. This will shift power (more on this in a future post- it’s incredibly important) to the left and render Biden more able to advance his domestic priority agenda on climate change, Covid-19 pandemic policy and infrastructure; on racial justice and voting rights and economic relief.
The political landscape of the last four (plus) years crystallized yesterday at the Capitol and affirmed there are truly two Americas. But the comparison to Black Lives Matter protests isn’t really accurate or fair. We may think we’re comparing apples to apples, but it’s a whole different fruit, says Overcoming Racism in a recent Instagram post.
And on the subject of two Americas, somehow, amidst the violence stoked by our sitting President and the downward spiral of economic insecurity for millions upon millions of Americans, the stock market hit a new high (I think) yesterday for a bit. I’ll leave it to the wisest economists to explain how this is possible, but I suspect that it’s capitalism at its finest.
And friends, this is the shortest of lists. I’m thinking of the many stories of personal triumphs and tragedies that get buried or go unreported.
Here’s a few on my end.
Waking up on New Years Day I fulfilled my commitment to meditate every day (an ongoing commitment which I know I need personally, for my recovery, and also, to remain clear about how I’m to show up in the world. I continued that commitment every day this week- hooray for tapas)
I spent some time in nature with my husband and dog. It’s in the everyday beauty of our natural world I most readily feel a sense of awe, humility and grace. And that sense carries on days beyond the time spent in nature, especially when I work daily to recharge it. It becomes the foundation I long for, the ground of my being.
I started the second cohort of Yoga, Writing and Recovery: Giving Voice to the Heart Within, an affirming, supportive community of recovering individuals invested in the practices of embodied and conceptual self-awareness. I can’t really capture here what this work means to me. We hold space for all sorts of emotions, perspectives, even those in conflict with one another- we share, we practice, it’s messy and it’s brave and it’s generative. It’s shared power. Power with, and not power over. (Thanks Brene Brown)
Despite the above, I woke up yesterday (Wednesday, the day of the violence in DC) nauseous, dizzy, and with a terrible headache. I could feel what was about to happen yesterday. Today’s a little better. Some energy moved last night, and again this morning with my meditation with Justin Michael Williams. (My energy signature for today is present, grateful, easeful.)
I co-hosted my weekly Y12SR meeting where we had a guest speaker, a Vietnam vet who inspired us all with his addiction recovery story. Folks, there are many of us still recovering, still sober, still working a recovery path, even now, as the world is falling apart. People are feeling their discomfort and joy like never before. There are spaces where we practice the both/and all the time. That is where I live and breathe and work. I’m here for it. It was, in fact, my prayer to hold both this year. The hard, the messy, the painful times and the joy, the gratitude, the inspiration, the delight. So, I’d say my prayers are being answered, every day, so far.
I’ve written before (here, and here, for starters) about the emergence of personal ethics as part of a recovery program. I had to save my own life first, get my feet under me and generate something of lasting integrity and value. That work continues as I learn, expand, and layer on my own experiences. But the work of justice and ethics is intertwined as I explore power dynamics which inform and control the system we all move and breathe in. More about that and its relation to recovery work soon!
Sending love,
DW
